Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental condition that is characterized by a compulsive need to perform certain routines or think certain thoughts. As a chronic condition, OCD can affect all parts of a person’s daily life. It may interfere with a person’s romantic life, friendships, and more. Understanding the social signs of obsessive compulsive disorder can make it easier to manage the condition.

In day to day life, OCD presents in the form of obsessions (unwanted and intrusive thoughts) and compulsions (rituals or behaviors to calm obsessions).  

A person with OCD tends to struggle with social situations, even if they’re not worried about hiding their symptoms from others. The condition is closely linked to depression and anxiety, making it hard to interact with others. In social situations, OCD may present itself through one or more of the following symptoms:

Fear of Upsetting Others

Some people with OCD have an overwhelming fear of saying or doing something wrong. Questions like “What if I offend them?” can intrusively play over and over in their mind. This fear may result in: 

• Repeated apologies for something that wasn’t offensive
• Obsessively replaying conversations after they happen
• Avoiding emails, texts, or public speaking out of fear of miscommunication

This type of OCD can show up in harm OCD or moral scrupulosity, which is when a person is preoccupied with being a “good” person and fears moral failure. The idea of unintentionally hurting someone emotionally or being judged as immoral can trigger obsessive guilt and shame. 

Avoiding Social Situations

Social withdrawal is another red flag. Almost 48% of people with OCD meet the criteria for social phobia at some point in their lives. While these are separate conditions, it’s common for them to co-occur. 

The difference between social anxiety and OCD is the reason behind the person avoiding others. In social anxiety, it’s often fear of embarrassment of being judged. In OCD, the avoidance is usually tied to intrusive thoughts or compulsions. For example: 

• Avoiding a gathering because the urge to perform a ritual might be triggered
• Avoiding restaurants due to contamination fears
• Skipping dates out of fear they’ll say something unforgivable 

Avoidance then becomes a compulsion in itself. Over time, this can lead to social isolation and make relationships feel like they’re too much to handle.  

Excessive Reassurance-Seeking

It’s normal to occasionally ask for reassurance; however, in OCD, this behavior becomes repetitive and compulsive. The person may constantly ask: 

• Did I say something weird? 
• Are you mad at me? 
• Do you still love me? 
• Are we okay? 

The reassurance may offer temporary relief, but the doubt will usually return, thus leading to the need to ask again. 

Rigid Social Expectations for Friends and Family

Another social sign of OCD is difficulty being flexible with plans or interactions with others. A person with OCD may have rules about how a social situation should go. If someone cancels at the last minute, acts differently than expected, or breaks a “rule,” it can cause serious anxiety. 

Examples may include: 

• Wanting every friend hangout to start and end at a certain time
• Feeling stressed when a family member doesn’t respond to a text within a certain amount of time
• Insisting that conversations follow certain structures or tones

These rules may be misinterpreted as controlling, but it’s usually an attempt to reduce the anxiety that comes from uncertainty or change. 

Social Exhaustion

Living with OCD can be exhausting, especially with the pressure to look “normal” in social situations. Many people with OCD might mask their symptoms to avoid being judged by others. They may: 

• Force themselves to act fine while they’re spiraling internally
• Suppress rituals or urges during social events
• Smile through interactions even if experiencing intense anxiety

Afterward, it’s not uncommon for someone with OCD to crash emotionally, forcing them to need time alone to recover. This can lead to further withdrawal and depressive episodes over time.

Living with OCD doesn’t just affect you internally, but it can also affect those around you. Whether it’s family, friends, romantic partners, or coworkers, OCD can strain even the most supportive relationships. Here’s how: 

Family Life

Since most of a person’s time is spent around family members, OCD is most likely to affect these relationships. OCD rituals have a tendency to cause delays and disruptions in family life, which can lead to resentment on both sides. This is especially true if the family member has become involved in a ritual, such as the OCD person tugging their sibling’s hair a set number of times. There can be a lot of social friction because a person with OCD may get mad when rituals are interrupted or become clingy and anxious due to intrusive thoughts telling them they are disliked.

Maintaining positive family relationships requires both sides to be understanding. Family members need to provide an OCD person with enough time and space for their condition while avoiding enabling them. At the same time, people with OCD need to work on getting OCD treatment and not pulling others into OCD rituals and anxieties. For the best outcomes, it is usually a good idea for all members of the family to attend family therapy.

Friendships

Many people with OCD end up feeling socially isolated. Intrusive thoughts like “everyone secretly hates me” or “I’m too weird to be around” can prevent people from forming new connections. For existing friendships, people with OCD may struggle with supporting their friends or participating in social outings. 

Social rituals or energy spent on compulsions may make it hard to keep up with texts, hangouts, or conversations. As a result, friends may think the person is distant or uninterested, when in reality, they’re just overwhelmed. 

Being open with trusted friends about your OCD can help build a better understanding and connection. However, if you struggle with in-person connections or are looking for more support, online communities and support groups are other options to consider. 

Romantic Relationships and Dating

Dating can be difficult for people with OCD, especially if the person struggles with relationship OCD, or ROCD. ROCD causes obsessive doubts about the person’s partner or relationship, such as: 

• Do I really love them? 
• Are they attractive enough? 
• Should I stay with them if I’m this unsure? 

These thoughts can reduce relationship satisfaction and cause emotional distress for both partners. Sexual intimacy may also be affected by intrusive thoughts, anxiety, or depression. 

There’s also the debate on when to disclose OCD to a potential partner. Mentioning it immediately can cause potential partners to focus on stereotypes instead of your actual personality. However, waiting until you get to know a person can make them feel misled. 

To maintain a romantic relationship, most OCD people need a lot of support and assistance. Couples therapy and individual OCD treatment, like exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy or TMS, can help improve relationship satisfaction over time. Also, educating your partner on your OCD symptoms can help them interact with you in a more positive way.

Workplace and Professional Relationships

Unfortunately, OCD doesn’t disappear when it’s time to go to work. It can interfere with tasks, communication, and focus. Some common challenges in the workplace include: 

• Taking too long to complete assignments due to checking or perfectionism
• Avoiding coworkers who trigger intrusive thoughts
• Overthinking every email, meeting, or comment
• Feeling unable to use public restrooms or shared spaces due to contamination fears

Roughly 38% of people with OCD report being unable to work due to their psychiatric symptoms. Though accommodations under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) may be available, stigma often prevents people from disclosing their condition to their employer. 

If you have OCD, you do not have to let inconvenient symptoms and social OCD stigma keep you from building rewarding relationships. Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) may be able to provide relief. This non-invasive, pain-free treatment involves using magnetic fields to stimulate the brain. 

Repeated treatments can help activate areas of the brain and improve overall functioning. An analysis of multiple studies involving TMS on OCD patients concluded that it was a safe and highly effective treatment. Especially when the TMS targeted the orbitofrontal cortex and supplementary motor area, it helped to reduce overall OCD-related symptoms.

Getting relief from OCD symptoms can make it easier to focus on your relationships and social life. At Pulse TMS, we can help you manage your OCD through the use of TMS treatment. Give us a call today to learn more about our services.